Silence, Small Talk, or Speaking Out: How to Handle Conversations During Tense Times
- Dr. Elke Framson
- Apr 11
- 4 min read
If you’re an international professional working with Americans, it can be confusing to know what to say – or what not – in polarizing times. In this blog post, I’m sharing five tips on how to handle workplace conversations in times of big change.
Depending on your country of origin, U.S. work culture may feel surprisingly silent or casual in moments that feel personally heavy and stressful. The following five tips will help you better understand U.S. mindset when it comes to discussing controversial topics in the workplace.
Understand Professional Distance in the US
Americans are known for their informality, always ready to start casual conversations with colleagues and strangers alike and quick to respond with enthusiasm to new ideas. This open and friendly demeanor can easily be misinterpreted as closeness – and an invitation to share your views on sensitive topics.
However, professional distance is paramount in the U.S. workplace.
Individualism is strong – in fact, the U.S. is often cited as the most individualistic country in the world. People feel strongly about their personal boundaries and expect others to respect them.
In the workplace, maintaining professional distance means being friendly and approachable. At the same time, you must be aware of the line between what’s appropriate to talk about and what not.
Stick to Small Talk Even in Serious Times
Even though Americans are quick to engage in conversation, in many U.S. workplaces, there’s an unwritten rule about keeping controversial topics out of office talk. Once such topic is politics. Many Americans prefer to keep their views private.
As a result, U.S. workplace small talk tends to stay light, even in the face of big developments and serious news. For one, controversial topics are likely to have opposing views. This can cause tensions and biases within teams and organizations and affect work negatively.
Open confrontation – especially on political or global issues – is seen as risky, inappropriate, and even aggressive. It is perceived as overstepping professional boundaries.
Asking about the weekend or the weather may feel insincere to you during tense times, but it’s meant to avoid discomfort. Silence on certain issues does not mean apathy. It’s simply a preference for privacy.
Be Human: Empathy Goes a Long Way
While your U.S. colleagues or team members may not want you to start a heavy conversation, they often appreciate brief, kind gestures. A simple, sincere comment can build connection, especially if you’re aware that someone may be personally affected by a development. Such comments are generally kept indirect.
Here’s an example: Rather than saying, “Hey, didn’t your brother work at [organization]? Was he affected by the [development]?” You can say, “I heard the news and thought of you – I hope your family is ok.”
A more indirect approach gives your conversation partner the option to share more, if they want to, but doesn’t put them on the spot if they’d rather not comment. It’s about being understanding and human in small ways.
Follow the Lead
Know your company culture. Some workplaces may be more open to debate. They may make space for critical developments, especially if the organization is directly affected in some way. Others may expect neutrality.
As an international professional, if you're unsure what to say, see how your manager or close colleagues address the topic. Listen to the way in which they present their ideas. How direct are they? What words are they using to speak about a topic? What’s the tone of the conversation? Follow their lead.
You can also ask a trusted colleague what’s appropriate to bring up. And don’t assume certain views – based on looks, gender, color of skin, etc.
Want to Speak Out? Consider How.
Sometimes, staying silent may feel wrong—especially when events are weighing heavily on your mind. In those moments, it’s not about whether you can speak up, but how and when you choose to do it.
Try these strategies to express your views with care:
When making small talk, you can gently shift to more serious topics. Instead of jumping into a direct question like, “So, what’s your opinion about...?”, use an “I-statement” to encourage a deeper conversation. You can say, “I’ve been a bit distracted today because of...” This invites your conversation partner to respond—without pressuring them to share more than they’re comfortable with.
Speak from your perspective. Use phrases like, “I feel...” or “From my point of view...” instead of making absolute statements.
If you’re in a leadership role, try to stay neutral in tone. Address sensitive issues from a problem-solving perspective, not from frustration or blame.
Navigating conversations during tense times isn’t easy – especially across cultures. If you’re an international leader looking to communicate more effectively in the American workplace, I can support you – with cultural insights, advanced language skills, and real-world communication strategies. Let’s connect – reach out to schedule a discovery call.
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